My friend was teaching a class of three year olds a couple of months ago. One of these children was a little boy who had a special friend in one of the little girls in the class. One night when he was desperately wanting to be with her he asked my friend if he could be with her and my friend said “no”. His quite dramatic yet relatable reply was “But I NEED her! I NEEEEEEED her!” As ridiculous as a three year old NEEDING another three year old sounds we often do the exact same thing. We pick something that we feel we NEED, and when we do not receive it we get angry and frustrated with God.
This topic of desperately wanting something to the extent that we feel we NEED it makes me think of Hannah, the mother of the Old Testament Prophet Samuel. She was barren and probably felt like she NEEDED a child, especially since she was being taunted and provoked by her husband’s other wife. However, in the midst of grief and confusion as to why she was not allowed to have this beautiful thing, she took her pain and confusion to God. 1 Samuel 1:10-14 finds Hannah praying so deeply and intensely that the priest Eli thought that she was drunk, but she wasn’t. She was taking her confusion, grief, and pain to God. She was vowing that if she were blessed with a child she would give it right back to God for His service. What a beautiful example of how to treat things that we feel like we NEED.
In reality the concept of giving something back to God if we are blessed enough to receive it in the first place is much easier said than done. Hannah shows a profound humility and trust when she gives up the child that she has longed for, hoped for, prayed for. However, the Lord blessed her trust and he used that child to further his kingdom in ways that Hannah likely could not have imagined in her wildest dreams. The things that we desire deeply for are not necessarily bad things. Wanting to be a parent is a beautiful thing. Wanting to be married is a beautiful thing. Wanting to get an education is a beautiful thing. However, those beautiful God given desires become ugly when we hope in those things rather than for those things. As hard as it is to admit, when we act as though we need something more than we need God we look as ridiculous as a three year old NEEDING another three year old. (and we are definitely not as cute)